Nude Earth

Rose is still puzzled by the change in her man. He has turned into the Doctor Who the what-what-WHAT? And as they lie naked on an alien pasture, she wonders if she can ever re-ignite that old spark. The new, chisel-jawed Time Lord seems hardly to notice her. "Neww-ah Earth-ah!" he declares. "And down there, the city-ah!.. New New New New New New New York-ah! Oh yes!" Rose glances around at the grass and thrusts her pelvis towards him. "Look at all them daisies," she says. " I was wonderin'... d'you wanna twiddle..." But he is away again, eager to reach the city. "But me minge!" she cries. "No worries," replies the Doctor Who. "Down there are the cat nuns. I'll have pussy galore!" "Wot, you really wanna go there?" asks Rose. "Correctamundo!" the Doctor Who declares, and then his eyes narrow. "Plus I've got a re-match with some chamois. Allons-y!" Belatedly, the Doctor Who notices the disappointment in Rose's face and his manner changes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he says... "but don't worry, Rose, there'll be a little shop - there'll be chips!"

Archivist: Suthers

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