The John and Gillian Adventures (Spin-off)

Sunday afternoon in John and Gillian's cramped attic in Shoreditch. Gillian attempts to do the ironing and ignore John's constant hectoring. John slouches on a nearby armchair and makes pointed remarks about Gillian's wealthy background, calling her "the good Lady Pusillanimous" and generally belittling her. The hectoring grows into a tirade and concludes in a physical confrontation, resulting in the ironing board overturning and Gillian's arm getting a burn. John storms out the front door.

Gillian calls on her old pal the Doctor Who (a.k.a. Grandfather?) to help and he duly arrives. However, when the Doctor Who comes in the door Gillian sees that he has regenerated into a fierce plug-eared northern man (Alan Sillitoe stylee) in a leather jacket who has finally gone too far and wiped out two whole species. "You're hurt because everything's changed", Gillian tells him, "and John's hurt because everything's stayed the same". The Doctor Who regrets dumping John and Gillian back into the mundane existence they sought to escape almost as much as he regrets wiping out his entire species because he was angry and Northern and life's unfair unless you're a fancy southern sort.

The Doctor Who takes Gillian away for an adventure involving things that look quite like Daleks (but aren't because they couldn't get permission from Mr. Nation's estate) and John returns to find a note. John then takes up with Gillian's friend who looks a bit like Leela (only with jeans and t-shirt drawn on her and with a new name) however this doesn't last long when Gillian returns and resumes her relationship with John. John breaks down and roars something about how the Doctor showed them the stars and furthest reaches of space and the most remarkable things. He asks Gillan how she can go back to "all this blah, blah, blah?" He roughly grabs Gillian's shoulders and demands that she scream or roar or at least say something. Tears brim in Gillian's eyes and all she can do is turn away from her deranged lover and bury her head in her hands. She mutters something about being pregnant. The lights dim, the curtain descends, Geordie notices an anomaly that may indicate that John and Gillian are, in fact, brother and sister ...but no one really cares and it's grand.

Archivist: Garr