(Pictured - River Song at The Burning Man Festival)

On the astral peninsula that is Moffat's Peak, in the wooded land of Whispering Wonders and Half Hints, The Doctor Who, Amy of the Crack and Rory of the Badly Treated witness the death of one who is destined to live forever... but what does this mean for the Timelad, his nymphomaniacal companion and cuckolded competition and who are the mysterious Emergent and what is the secret of the revolving Meringue Island in the Ocean of Dreams Undreamt? What is that lurking behind our heroes? Where did Rory leave his MP3 player? What is that strange badger doing on the veranda? Where did River Song get that new age hippy name? Will all this even take place and if not why not and why not if not and if not why?

One of the four will die yet all will live but be forever changed whilst remaining very much exactly the same in the Contradictory Cluster in the Realm of WTF that is home to the astral peninsula that is Moffat's Peak ...or something.


Archivist: Garr

Doctor Who and the Curse of Impossible Recycling

Domino's Pizzas, Washington
The White House. A phone is ringing.

Doctor Who the Northern: "It's ringin'. How is it ringin'?"

Nixon: "Hello"


Nixon: "This is the President."

Child's voice: "Are you my mummy?"

Nixon: "This is the President of the United States."

Doctor Who: "Hello, is that Domino's? I'd like to order a pizza."

Nixon: "This is the President of the United States. Who is this?"

Child's voice: "Are you my mummy?"

Nixon: "Is it you again?"

Doctor Who: "No, it's me. I'd like to order a pizza."

Nixon: How did you get this number?"

Child's voice: "Look behind you!"

Doctor Who: "Fook off kid, I'm tryin' to order a pizza."

Nixon: "There is nothing behind me."

Child's voice: "They're everywhere. The spaceman told me."

Doctor Who: "I fookin' did not. And I want extra pineapple."

Child's voice: "Please. You've got to look behind you."

Nixon: "There are no pizzas in the Oval Office."

Silence falls.

Archivist: Suthers

The Doctor Who and 'That Kind'

("Das Doctor Who, you give Johnny das kisses now, Ja?")

The Dreamlord traps The Doctor Who in a decadent slash fiction Weimar Republic where The Doctor Who has to get off with Johnny Weissmuller.

Then The Doctor Who meets a new companion and she is seriously bad at singing. REALLY bad. Brutal at it! As if that wasn't bad enough, she's even more self-absorbed than Amy Pond who is busy showing her crack to Rory through a glass floor for Red Nose Day to raise money for acting lessons for Lenny Henry so he can convincingly cry the next time he meets some impoverished Africans. Das Gerooooonimo!
Archivist: Garr
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