The Doctor Who and the 4,5,6.

The 4, 5, 6 are in their mothership lounging around bored when Richard says, "let's go back to that funny little place, what was it called again, planet Earth." Miles affects a yawn of pronounced nonchalance and declares himself bored of invasions. "But we could really make something of it this time, turn it into a real occasion" argues Richard. "And how do you propose we do that?" asks Miles, fanning himself with last season's summer programme whilst in languid repose upon a chaise lounge that has seen better days. "We'll promote ourselves this time, we'll put up posters, tell them we're coming, we'll go on Pebble Mill, we'll really give it a go" answers Richard, hopping to his feet and pacing the room excitedly. He continues, "we could make a viral, something creepy but compelling." "How about we hack into the small ones, the ones who love eating crisps and calling their female parental units 'cows', we could get them to herald our return, it would be quite something" suggests Janet as she looks up from her sudoku. "Oh, wooooonnnnnderful" exclaims Richard, leaping a little into the air and clapping his hands, "that'll put the wind up them, we'll be the talk of town."

"Oh, I'm not sure, the whole portentous foreshadowing business is no guarantee of success, just look at those sleeper cell hook armed chaps, whatever happened to them, does anyone care?" mumbles Miles, sitting up and stretching. "Well I'm not doing another panto season with Biggins" protests Richard tearfully, "I'm bloody invading and doing a bloody good run too, one week only, my name will be up in lights, you'll see". He runs out of the room. Miles just looks to Janet and shrugs.

Later, Richard arrives on Earth to underwhelming reviews, not even The Doctor Who showed up and the whole publicity campaign was obviously counter-productive to his invasion plan. "It's just not fair", he confides to Janet. "You should have gone through the darkness" she says. "Oh the bloody darkness, everyone's doing that these days," Richard hisses and storms out of the room.

Archivist: Garr