Last of the Time Spanks

You've been a very naughty boy said The Doctor Who and The Barsteward bit his bottom lip as if he knew just what to expect. Martha was puzzled. She had spent a year traveling the world, telling The Doctor Who stories (her favourite being Mr. Roberts' I Am A Muslim) to keep everyone happy and restore their faith in The Doctor Who and then this happens. She looked at the two time benders and knew that the whole conflagration, the one that had cost the planet Earth one tenth of it's population, was part of some elaborate game.

The Barsteward's eyes swiveled. He first ran this way and then another as his bewildered wife beard gazed on befuddled. The Doctor Who gave chase, although The Barsteward didn't seem to be running very fast and the whole thing looked a bit ...y'know. The Doctor Who vigorously wrestled The Barsteward to the ground and exposed his evil bottom in front of the whole room. "There, you see!" exclaimed The Doctor Who but no one knew what he meant, not even Captain Jack and he even knows about mad things to do with stop-watches. The Doctor Who thrust his hands deep into his pockets and began to rummage. "We'll see what we can do about your mischief young lady" he said and no one was sure who he was talking to. Then, The Doctor Who produced a long spatula and began to soundly thrash the Barsteward, who began emitting fey little gasps of pseudo displeasure. Martha gathered up her family, The Barsteward's wife beard, and Captain Jack and shepherded them out of the room. "REGENERATE! REGENERATE!" roared The Doctor Who (half smiling) as The Barsteward (suppressing a slight smile of his own beneath his little gasping performance) refused. "Defiant to the last eh?" said The Doctor Who producing a table tennis bat and knowing all the while that all he had to do was press the reset button and this transgression would be forgotten by most of the population but not Martha, who would hopefully be inspired to take a hike. Geordi found the incident anomalous but, on consultation with Mr. Cornell, grand.

Archivist: Garr