The Dirty, Flirty and Bertie Patrol

Dirty the Doctor Who the rrrrrrarely rrrrrrrremembered takes Ace to meet his old friend Bertie Bassett the handyman and his pet Sycorax on the planet Picnmix. She is astonished at his liquorice body armour and quips “I suppose it takes all sorts!” The Doctor Who and Bertie look at her blankly so Ace is like “I said, it takes all sorts. Geddit?” More silence and then tumbleweed blows through the Tardis and the Sycorax growls and bares its teeth. The Doctor Who attempts to end the awkward silence by saying “Liquorice, eh? I have to say that rrrrrrreally I prrrrrefer some hard liquorrr.” Ace could do with a handyman herself and faints at the thought of a hard licker and the feral grandchildren John and Gillian take advantage of the confusion to rip off Bertie's arm as a snack but the sweetieman stops himself regenerating by siphoning off the energy into a candy bio-matching receptacle, namely his hand, that hand there, his candy spare hand. Since sadness is banned they all have a jolly good laugh over the misunderstanding, and then the Doctor Who keeps everyone laughing by recalling in detail the magic death of Adric.

Archivist: Suthers

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