Doctor Who and the Thai Meddler

The Doctor Who the 35th tossed his golden mane over his shoulder as he stood gripping the balcony rail of his luxury suite on the type 70 Tardis, watching star systems drift by. They'd mocked his Cornish accent when he said “Oh, oi'd loik ah bit of stargazy poi, sum cyder and a pasty.” But what did they know? Lots of planets had a s***hole. His new state of the art time vessel was his reward for bringing peace to the universe. Daleks were working with Clangermen, or those new-fangled Cybuslads, to revitalise deprived areas of the universe. Chumblies and Drahvins toiled hand in hand in harmony. He had even been spared further confrontation with his former nemesis the Master – or so it seemed. And now he had a beautiful new companion to put Rose and her infernal daisy-strewn minge out of his mind at last. A Thai beauty, Sam Ters Jeko, it said she was called in the Radio Times cast list. This would be their first night together. At that moment, Jeko's voice summoned him back from within his bedchamber, And then he was wrapped around her at last, his hands gently caressing their way down Jeko's body. Suddenly he froze, rigid with shock. How was this possible? Was Jeko a ladyboy? And then Jeko was speaking in familiar words that ricocheted around his foolish, blond head: “Oh, my dear the Doctor Who. You have been naive.”

Archivist: Suthers