Doctor Who and the Carryonites

The Doctor Who the first takes Ian, Barbara, John and Gillian to ancient Rome for a history lesson, only the stupid Romans don't realise it is ancient and seem to think they are in modern-day Rome. The Doctor Who runs into Caesar Kennethicus Williamus, who tells him "Infamy, infamy. They've all got it infamy" before getting killed for his trouble. The next Caesar tells them: "Friends, Romans, Countrymen, whatever. Lend me your rears!" Matron Hattius Jaqueus is furious at this clear introduction of a gay agenda and orders him back to bed. Meanwhile, Ian and Barbara are wrestling lions in the arena when Barbarus Windsoricus's bikini bra snaps and hits Ian in the face. The Doctor Who realises he must resort to genocide once more and sets fire to the city. Ian and Barbara are shocked to find that the silver-haired fiend has sneaked off with John and Gillian and is fiddling while Rome burns.

Archivist: Suthers