Ass Reunion ...or something.

The Doctor Who and Rose (bottom throbbing from a discreet late night 'correction' at the hands of The Doctor Who as Mickey slept) travel to a school where The Doctor Who says they will get the chance to redden many a young posterior. However, the school is not quite the St. Trinian's The Doctor Who expected and corporeal punishment has been outlawed some decades by the time they arrive. Anyhoo, they meet Sarah Jane and Sarah Jane tells The Doctor Who that she loved him and Rose doesn't like this because she loves The Doctor Who because he's like a lively little puppy dog that gets sad sometimes and needs saving and has great bed hair, aww. The Doctor Who meets Buffy's dad, or whoever he is meant to be, at a swimming pool. There is a lot of tension at the pool and it's a bit like the old Bronski Beat video where Jimmy Sommerville makes eyes at that thug down the municipal baths and, as if that's not enough, Buffy's dad is called 'Head', give me a break, they are like soooo doing it. Anyway Mickey tells K9 that he loves The Doctor Who and K9 says that he loved The Doctor Who too and even used soooo hump his leg. And these giant bats get school kids to do their maths ekker (70s Dublin parlance for homework) and they love The Doctor Who and they are sooo doing it as were Bill and Ben the Flower Pot Men, Bond and Blofeld (see, there it is again, BLO...feld), Laurel and Hardy, the Lone Ranger and Tonto, Tom and Jerry, Simon and Garfunkle, Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant, Noan Chomsky and Christopher Hitchens, Keith Harris and Orville, John Noakes and Shep, Rodgers and Hammerstein, Ro-Jaws and Hammerstein, Darth Vader and Obi-Wan, mods and rockers, God and Satan, matter and anti-matter, the beginning and the end, night and day, the sun and the moon, smoke and mirrors, snakes and ladders, swings and roundabouts, boom and bust, things and other things associated in anyway with those things, your left shoe and your right shoe (of the pair your wearing right now), Amnesty International and violations of human rights, Wembley Stadium and that huge beam of light from that 80s Quatermass where John Mills played Quatermass, and, finally, Geordi and his anomalies. Grand.

Archivist: Garr

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