Doctor Who and the Moan Base

The Doctor Who the hair gel slips his key into the Yale lock and gently turns it. The Tardis door opens with barely a sound and he tiptoes in, slowly closing it behind him with the slightest click. But, glancing up, he realises in an instant that his efforts to creep in unnoticed have been in vain. For there, standing by the stairs in her dressing gown is his mother. "And what time do you call this?" she demands. "Dunno," comes the mumbled reply, adding with a touch of insolence, "Why, what time do you call it?" "And where've you been until this time?" asks Mrs Who. "Nowhere," mumbles the Doctor Who. "Don't give me that," says Mrs Who. "What have you been doing?" "Nuffink," says the Time Lad, his head sinking ever lower, clearly indicating a guilty conscience. "I want the truth now," insists Mrs Who. "You're not too old for me to put you over my knee." And the Doctor Who says he has just been hanging around the bus shelter with some of the other kids off the estate, and OK maybe they did ring a few doorbells and then run off but it was all Davros's idea anyway. And anyway they never done any TWOCing, cos he's never done that since he run off with that Type 40 in the first place, innit. "Well get yourself to bed," says Mrs Who. "We'll just have to see what your father says in the morning." And the Doctor Who says "I hate you," "I wish you were dead," and "I didn't ask to be born anyway," and slinks off to his room to text his mates.

Archivist: Suthers