Doctor Who and the Tautology of the Time Lords

The Doctor Who the fourth discovers that bulging-eyed Marty Feldman is running around on Gallifrey trying to kill the King of the Time Lords. The Doctor Who objects to this challenge to his own position as curly-haired clown and races there in his Tardis. When he arrives he learns that Marty is really the Master but has adopted the moniker of "The Deadly Assassin". The Doctor Who points out in a superior way that, excuse me, but you are obviously deadly if you are an assassin! Doh!!! The Master remonstrates that you could be an assassin who was going through a temporary bad patch, so there!! But the Doctor Who hits back that if you weren't killing anyone you wouldn't be an assassin, silly, so there!!! The Master, clearly humiliated, replies "Come outside and say that if you think you're hard enough!" The Doctor Who says "All right, I will!!" They go outside and have a fight lasting two weeks on rail tracks, a hospital, a jungle and a marshy lake, before, completely exhausted, they agree to call it a draw. Bidding each other a fond farewell, they leave for their respective Tardises and agree to meet up again another day.

Production note: This was the Doctor Who story that spawned spin-off movie The Matrix.

Archivist: Suthers