The Doctor Who and the End of the Attack of Time of Death and stuff that really doesn't matter a f**k and that

The Barsteward is leaping around about the place acting like an eejit in this scarp yard so The Doctor Who goes there to chase him around the place for a laugh. Wilf is there too with a gang of old mates (but they aren't old in a scary way, more old in a 'young at heart' way and hence less repulsive to the non-pension collecting demographic and therefore telly-friendly). The Doctor Who goes to a cafe with Wilf. They eat buns.

The Barsteward dresses up as Hannibal Lecter for Halloween (it's actually Christmas but, y'know, he's a bit mixed up what with the drums and all) and gets invited to a party by some random fiendish types who seek immortality or some guff (forget it, it's like Lucy suddenly producing a magic anti-Barsteward potion from her pyjamas, it really doesn't matter a f**k). As a party trick, the Barsteward turns everyone into him. "I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together", doesn't say the Barsteward because he isn't the Walrus (he dressed up as the walrus a couple of years ago - see Last of the Timespanks deleted scene - but actually forget it because, like the random immortality seekers or Lucy's pyjama potion, it really doesn't matter a f**k).

Anyhoo, a bunch of Timelads show up led by George Lazenby (of Remington Steele fame) and raise a bit of hell because ...well forget about exactly why because, like the random immortality enthusiasts, Lucy's family making a potion (huh?) or the Barsteward's walrus venture, it doesn't actually matter a f**k. The Doctor Who starts fooling around with a gun and shoots an important furnishing and The Barsteward hands Lazenby his ass on a plate and then goes off some place (not sure where, probably doesn't matter a f**k) and then we reach the really important part. . .

. . .RTD, um, no, I mean, . . .The Doctor Who does an extended curtain call and tweenies all over the UK, and various appendages thereof, weep buckets. Hungover dads belch, mams pretend to be interested, dogs and cats snooze and it goes on a bit. Then the Ood write a song with nice Mr. Gold and Enya and then the TARDIS starts to explode (why? you ask, doesn't matter a f**k says I) and then there's this new The Doctor Who standing there talking about having possible gender reassignment issues and laughing at his dire predicament re: TARDIS exploding around him as if he doesn't give a f**k.
GEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIMO!
Archivist: Garr