The prologue: Oooh no, missus. No, listen. Doctor Who the tenth, well, he brings Donna to Pompeii. To see Francis. I mean Lurcio. Well he doesn't want to mix with riff-raff. No? Oooh, please yourselves. Anyway, titter ye not. He comes to stay with Ludicrus, his wife Ammonia and their daughter Erotica. Anyway, no, listen. Listen to Francis. Doctor Who discovers that Albert Steptoe has fallen through time and is demanding back rent for when crochety Doctor Who did a runner from his time in Totty Lane. But is this the end? Nay, nay and thrice nay! For Doctor Who realises that the only way to defeat the evil Steptoe is to drown him in lava. Poor Steptoe! No, titter ye not. So he uses his sonic screwdriver to make Mount Vesuvius erupt. Oh it erupts for Frankie.
Epilogue: Doctor Who and Donna carry on up the vortex. No, listen... Oh, please yourselves.
Archivist: Suthers
Senior archivists
Suthers has watched the Doctor Who since 1928. His favourite episode was The Doctor Who and the Rose where D.H. Lawrence (DHL) delivered a classic loosely based on Lady Chatterbox.
Monstrously deformed, Garr remains at his remote Irish retreat where he and his captives enjoy endless marathons of The Doctor Who Space Detective and the music of Count John McCormack.
Half human, half lost library and half automaton, Ogronic lurks in shadowy corners peering in keyholes. Next time you find a cup stuck to a wall, you'll know he has been listening in.
A more recent scholar of The Doctor Who (only discovering it in 1962), Brainiac Nutjob enjoys sounds and feels. If someone whispers your name on the wind, it's not him.The Stats-o-tron
Look how many researchers have already been aided by the ceaseless endeavours of our archivists who never sleep.
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