Boob Town

The Doctor Who the northern and Rose appear to have got their relationship back on track. But she notices he's getting home later and later every night from his new job in Cardiff. "It's OK. I've just got a lot on," he says when she challenges him. "But I don't even know what it is you do," she complains. The Doctor Who sits Rose down and, idly twiddling her minge, explains how he is a top scientific advisor. "Wot, like wot you was before for UNIT?" she asks, stuffing her face with chips. "That's right," says the Doctor Who, "except in those days I was helping taffy grow big fat luminous maggots. Now, by 'eck, I'm advising on an exciting new project t' build power stations." Rose seems happy with his answer. But next night, as she is going out for some chips, she spots him in the local bistro apparently canoodling with a rather large lady. Rose bursts in and confronts the pair. "Er, it's OK," says the Doctor Who. "This is t' Mayor, my boss. We're just, er, discussing power plant." Rose runs from the restaurant, cheeks flushed. How could she be so foolish and humiliate the man she loves. She feels more relaxed as she dusts around the Tardis, until a glance at the time-space visualiser reveals the terrible truth. For the Doctor Who has failed to log out, and the screen is filled with a vile, flesh-filled page of debauchery from the Big Buxom Wenches website for bouncing-boob lovers. "Damn you Peri, screams Rose. "Damn you for inciting this lust in the Doctor Who that can now never be sated."

Archivist: Suthers