Doctor Who the fifth has been acting strangely ever since Peri ran around in that bikini. She catches him several times lurking around the Tardis in a bid to check out her giant bazookas. Finally he plucks up courage to ask her out to a rave on Androlloydwebbery plus they take in a show, Phantom of the Opera. Peri's still not really interested so Doctor Who pretends to get shot. When that does no good, he gets some Es off the barman. Finally, reverting to his deep-seated wickedness, he slips some rohypnol into her Bacardi and Coke and she passes out. Doctor Who can barely believe his luck as he quickly carries Peri's limp, curvaceous form back to the Tardis to have his evil way with her. But no sooner has he thrown her to the floor than the excitement becomes all too much and it is all over for him. Doctor Who feels such shame that his body is forced to degenerate once more. Doctor Who the sixth wakes up to find Peri leaning over him, bazookas bulging, and cruelly deriding his lack of libido.
Archivist: Suthers
Senior archivists
Suthers has watched the Doctor Who since 1928. His favourite episode was The Doctor Who and the Rose where D.H. Lawrence (DHL) delivered a classic loosely based on Lady Chatterbox.
Monstrously deformed, Garr remains at his remote Irish retreat where he and his captives enjoy endless marathons of The Doctor Who Space Detective and the music of Count John McCormack.
Half human, half lost library and half automaton, Ogronic lurks in shadowy corners peering in keyholes. Next time you find a cup stuck to a wall, you'll know he has been listening in.
A more recent scholar of The Doctor Who (only discovering it in 1962), Brainiac Nutjob enjoys sounds and feels. If someone whispers your name on the wind, it's not him.The Stats-o-tron
Look how many researchers have already been aided by the ceaseless endeavours of our archivists who never sleep.
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