Doctor Crybaby and the Muffin Men

Who broke my window? There will be consequences.

Jack the Tripper: (In silly, deep voice) "Have you seen the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man. Have you seen the Muffin Man who lives on Drury Lane?"

Madame Vacuous: "What are you rambling on about? You must be executed."

Jack: "But I know the secret of the Doctor Who. Even though I have never met him. He has a secret love for muffins. It is discovered."

Madame Vacuous: "Then you must be saved."

Jack: "Hang on, I know his name too . . ."

Madame Vacuous: "I must organise a conference call at once. It will give the Moff a chance to re-use his tedious desktop-theme joke."

Meanwhile, in a galaxy far far away

Commander Potato Head: "Are you looking at my pint?"

Stereotypical Scotsman: "Aye. And what are you gonna do aboot it? I'll gi ye a Glaswegian handshake."

Meanwhile in a Tardis far far away

Doctor Who: "So Clara. What can you possibly be?"

Clara: "Oh, I'm the impossible girl, Doctor Who."

Doctor Who: "I thought so. Tell you what, let's go to Trenzalore for a holiday. That will sort you out. But first I must sit down and have a little cry."

Spot of sobbing. They step out of the Tardis.

Doctor Who. "I remember when this was all fields."

Muffin Men: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Archivist: Suthers