Angels Having the Crack!

Pictured above: "Oh, for f**k's sake"


Three weeping angels have a head to head about what to do next...

AGNES: Right girls, they are on to the whole blinking gimmick and closing one eye at a time. We'll have to come up with some new tricks.

BERNADETTE: We could pounce out of CCTV footage.

AGNES: Yeah, that's not bad.

PHILOMENA: We could get inside their eyeballs and freak them out.

BERNADETTE (ignoring Philomena): I can do quite a good imitation of that bloke we just killed, what's his name, Bob. I could do his voice on the walkie talkie.

AGNES: Oooh, creepy, but can you work the walkie talkie?

BERNADETTE: As long as no one's watching.

PHILOMENA: We could nick the Doctor's coat.

BERNADETTE (incredulously): Pardon?

PHILOMENA: We could nick the Doctor's coat and give him a wedgie.

BERNADETTE: A wedgie??? Wedgie's aren't scary.

PHILOMENA: They are.

BERNADETTE: No they aren't, they're stupid.

PHILOMENA: You're stupid.

BERNADETTE: Oh come on! You want to nick his coat and give him a wedgie? We'll be the laughing stock.

PHILOMENA: You'll be the laughing stock.

BERNADETTE: What does that even mean?

PHILOMENA: What do you even mean?

BERNADETTE (to Agnes about Philomena): She's a fruitcake. I can't work with her.

PHILOMENA: You're the fruitcake you can't work with her.

BERNADETTE: OK, that definitely made no sense.

PHILOMENA: You definitely made no sense.

AGNES: OK you two. Knock it off. Now, does anyone feel that draft?

BERNADETTE: It seems to be coming from that crack.

PHILOMENA: More like, it seems to be coming from your crack.

BERNADETTE: Oh, for f**k's sake.

PHILOMENA: You're for f**k's sake.

BERNADETTE: What is your problem?

PHILOMENA: You're my problem, Drafty Crack!

AGNES: Ah now girls, come on.

BERNADETTE: Look, I'm going to do the walkie talkie thing. You two can nick coats and give wedgies or whatever you like.

Bernadette exits the scene.

PHILOMENA (shouting): Fine, we will (mutters) ...drafty cracked queef merchant.

Archivist: Garr