The Doctor Who arrives on a planet where, as he puts it, "The probability matrix is broken; you need to get a man in." The seemingly human inhabitants turn out to be vehicles for sentient hamsters. Their mysterious 'miracle substance' that runs everything turns out to be curried eggs. It is revealed that every sentence they say that starts with the word 'and' is a lie, resulting in numerous simultaneous revelations that are very hard to keep track of. The Doctor Who leaves before he gets bitten in the arse by a twist that's relevant to his ongoing storyline. After he does, lightning strikes a nearby rock, splitting it open and revealing that it has two hearts.
Archivist: Brainiac Nutjob
Senior archivists
Suthers has watched the Doctor Who since 1928. His favourite episode was The Doctor Who and the Rose where D.H. Lawrence (DHL) delivered a classic loosely based on Lady Chatterbox.
Monstrously deformed, Garr remains at his remote Irish retreat where he and his captives enjoy endless marathons of The Doctor Who Space Detective and the music of Count John McCormack.
Half human, half lost library and half automaton, Ogronic lurks in shadowy corners peering in keyholes. Next time you find a cup stuck to a wall, you'll know he has been listening in.
A more recent scholar of The Doctor Who (only discovering it in 1962), Brainiac Nutjob enjoys sounds and feels. If someone whispers your name on the wind, it's not him.The Stats-o-tron
Look how many researchers have already been aided by the ceaseless endeavours of our archivists who never sleep.
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